Whoa, it sure has been a while since I last wrote to you. There’s so much to tell you. I’ve been away in the Jehovah Witness Protection Program as volunteer-hired muscle, but after some crazy legal battles and a few restraining orders, I am no longer allowed to set foot within twenty feet of a Roscoe’s Chicken and Waffles. Don’t ask me about it, it’s complicated… It’s okay though because now I’m off the grill, back on the grid, and ready to flamingo!
Oh! You will never believe what happened to me! Last week Alex and I found a coupon for a free martial arts class!!! It was just lying there underneath an old mattress behind KFC.
I know! What are the odds that THIS coupon would be underneath THIS mattress behind THIS KFC, right? Well Alex flipped a coin and told me “pretty good” –I took it as a sign that for once in my life I was at the right place at the right time! The coupon was expired by three days, but luckily for us, Alex is super nifty at forging documents.
Now before you get ahead of yourself, “Bradley’s Taekwondo” is not like any other Kung Fu gym you’ve ever heard of and sensei Bradley is not like any other Karate master you’ve ever seen. This guy’s the real deal! He’s devoted his entire life to mastering martial arts. He knows how to do EVERYTHING! He knows Parkour, Yoga, Taebo, Crossfit, Pilates, Salsa, Gymnastics and even Ninjitsu!!! He shows me YouTube videos so I can learn how to be the best. Bradley’s methods are a bit extreme, but he pushes Alex and me to test our limits and ascend to great new heights in our martial arts training.
Now that I’ve had my evaluation, my life is now devoted to the “way of the warrior,” and I’ve taken a vow to never eat gum off of the pavement again. I can’t believe you can become a Blue Belt just for bringing a friend. I didn’t tell him that Alex is my brother; some things are just best left unsaid. It’s kind of like how Bradley doesn’t want me to get intimidated from his awesome Kung Fu, so he doesn’t demonstrate how to do things. I totally get where he’s coming from. After all, I’m just a blue belt and Bradley has two black belts! He doesn’t wear them at the same time though. That would just be silly.
Well it was great catching up with you! I need to go practice more Kung Fu!
Hugs and more Hugs,